Privileged Skin
Privileged Skin--for SH and JCH It’s not so much that new rooms have been created in my heart by speaking with you but that old ones have opened up, ones I’d felt unwelcome in. Your words have allowed...
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D---on mechanics.i bring any text, no matter how odd it looks on the page and paste it into New Topic.use a letter or a title in the Title bar, then you can remove all formatting by hitting the Tx...
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bernie, if not yet, you are close to being a genius! .... it's beyond me, how do you know all these things?!
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that 'that'. forget about that! It’s not so much [that- PLEONASM] new rooms have been created in my heart by speaking with you than [that] old ones have opened up, ones I’d felt unwelcome in. [THAN...
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I THINK ITS NOT SO GREAT TO START A POEM WITH -It’s not so much that ..... Your words have allowed me entrance. ------ just a suggestion - .....maybe the line [that] you considered using to end...
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last 3 lines :- Maybe I seek permission once more, or maybe I know how much I’ll stumble inside this space I THINK YOU NEED A COMMA HERE and so fear to sashay. personaly i always slope into a room....
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Hi DeborahThe piece is a thought provoking philosophical poem that is better than the title which leads us to expect something other than what the poem actually provides. The text of the poem is...
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Osal and Bernie--thank you for the logistics tips. I will have to play around with the Tx key or try saving it as a plain text file or something like that first. Abujabri--I find it interesting when...
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D---1. first suggestion, tell us in three declarative sentences what the poem wants to do. 25 words or less.2. let's make the poem laterbernie
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D---if so, i must hate more than a few of my own poems. i often find an improved focus by using that method, or following through on other workshop suggestions.i'm not shy, if i hated the poem i would...
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(I have feedback from two other established poets), and no it is not at all erotic. Thank you for your thoughts ......establishment poets give established feedback. my feedback is...
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Abujabri--Good point re: sashay, as it can mean that, although the first meaning given in the dictionary is merely to walk in a casual manner. Sashay was a recent introduction to the poem b/c I was...
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D---you jump ahead, seems to me.(although personally, to start with declarative sentences and then write a poem is not a process that would work for me).i suggested 25 words. i did not suggest making...
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Bernie, That is a complicated poem indeed--one that I think could only be acceptably written by an African American, as it was. On a forum I used to be a part of, we had a section expressly for...
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DJ; here is how I read your poem; a rewrite that made it easy to understand what you were saying... It’s not so much the new rooms in my heart speaking with you-- old ones have reopened, ones I feel...
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Wavewriting, that's an interesting interpretation and not much in keeping with my intentions (btw, the poem was dedicated to two people, not a him, but I guess you have joined abujabri in an erotic...
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Well, as you like it; good luck DJ; no need to comment further. Happy posting!
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